Barack Obama at a recent rural elementary school assembly in East Texas , asked the audience for total quiet. Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands once every few seconds, holding the audience in total silence.
Then he said into the microphone, ‘Children, every time I clap my hands together, a child in America dies from gun violence.‘
Then, little Richard Earl , with a proud East Texas drawl, pierced the quiet and said: ”Well, dumb-ass, stop clapping!‘
A mother, listening to her young son playing with his electric train heard the train stop and her son say, “All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down the tracks.”
The mother went nuts and told her son, “We don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language.”
Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” She hears the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”
And just as the mother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.”
Teacher: Class, we will have only half days school this morning.
Class : Hooray
Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon
(Students plot to make the teacher run away!)
TEACHER : Give me three reasons why the world is round
Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so !
TEACHER : Name four members of the cat family
Pupil : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens !
TEACHER : What is the plural of mouse ?
Pupil : Mice
TEACHER : Good, now what’s the plural of baby ?
Pupil : Twins !
TEACHER : What is an island ?
Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side.
TEACHER : On one side ?
Pupil : Yes, on top !
A Nursery Kid was kissing a Girl…
Suddently the teacher came and ask: What the Hell are u doing???
The boy: Mam, She ate my candy… i was just trying to get it back…
A note to readers: The jokes given above are for fun purpose only. Please enjoy the jokes and do not get offended by the content in them.